Organizers of the Rio Summer Olympics provide an average of 41 condoms and 17 packets of lube per athlete competing at the games.
The 450,000 prophylactics distributed include 100,000 female condoms. The number does not include the rubbers handed out by national Olympic committees. Australia, for instance, issues to its team members super-strength condoms, which allegedly provide “near-complete anti-viral protection against Zika virus in laboratory studies.”
Sex at the Olympics continues to coax legendary feats of endurance and flexibility from athletes. The competitors divulge tales of late-night orgies, daytime nudity in the cafeteria, and sex romps in the grass outside the dorms in the Olympic Village at odd hours.
American target shooter Josh Lakatos confessed to ESPN of spotting the entire 4×100 relay team of a Scandinavian nation egress from his Sydney complex in 2000 to embark upon an early morning walk of shame that moved far slower than their pace on the track the previous day. He confessed, “I’ve never witnessed so much debauchery in my entire life.”
The distribution of the rubbers in Rio becomes a more pressing concern of organizers because of the threat of the Zika virus. Brazil’s AIDS rate, though generally higher than countries in its neighborhood, appears nearly identical to that of the United States. But if 2012 host London’s reputation says rain, Rio’s screams sex.
Though the competitors receive their pick of rubbers, they do not get their choice of channels. The Olympic Village, whose rooms contain plastic shower curtains and air conditioners only installed after complaints, does not contain television sets in the individual units. Who has time for reruns of Barney Miller when 41 free condoms risk going to waste?
The number of condoms distributed represents a threefold increase over recent Olympiads. Blame it on Rio.