Obama Buys Shrimp, Putin Harpoons Whales

So roughly eight years ago, as President Bush was getting ready to golf, reporters peppered him with questions about suicide bombings in Israel. Holding his driver, the President said, “There are a few killers who want to stop the peace process… and we must not let them. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers.”

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Then he said, without missing a beat: “Thank you. Now watch this drive.”

What an idiot, right?

Eh. Not so much, I think.

See, this memory springs to mind (thanks to a Fox News producer), after hearing about our current President’s outing at Nancy’s, a waterfront restaurant in Oaks Bluff, Massachusetts.

As President Obama walked toward the entrance, a few reporters tried to ask him about Iraq. After ignoring them for a bit, he turned and said, “We’re buying shrimp guys… C’mon.”

And there you have it: one president who can play golf and talk terror – and one who needs his shrimp.

Look I get the point: it’s a vacation. And shrimp is delicious.

But it can’t be that hard to answer a simple question – especially one that’s kinda important. I mean, if that dim bulb George Bush could do it, I think Obama could too.

Granted, some say buying shrimp is harder than lining up a decent drive. Shrimp are small, slippery and they have those annoying shells on their tails. Frankly, I find them disgusting, and if I had my way, I’d imprison all of them in tiny shrimp jails.

You could say I am shrimpaphobic. And you’d be right.

Anyway, as Obama delicately sucks the meat out of a tiny crustacean, Vlad Putin harpoons a whale with a cross bow.

I know that says something…about something.

And if you disagree with me, you’re a racist homophobe who stole my underpants.

Tonight:

Andrew W.K!

Paul Mecurio!

Diana Falzone!

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