The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s The Marvels is now a certified disaster, with an opening weekend predicted between $47 million and $55 million, according to the left-wing Deadline.
Even if The Marvels hits that high water mark of $55 million, it will still rank as the worst opening of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), which officially launched 33 movies ago in 2008 with Iron Man. Prior to The Marvels, 2008’s The Incredible Hulk starring Edward Norton (remember that?) earned the MCU’s worst opening weekend at $55.4 million.
Could The Marvels have legs? Doubtful. The die-hard turned out Friday night; the Marvel fanatics and The Marvels still earned a very weak B Cinemascore. That does not bode well for the word-of-mouth advertising and repeat business necessary to create a box office hit.
The once untouchable MCU, a franchise that delivered $30 billion in worldwide box office dollars from 30 movies, a franchise more successful than any in history, the cinematic golden goose of all cinematic golden geese, has been woke-raped into a straight-up disaster.
Since the breathtaking one/two punch of Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far From Home in 2019, only one Marvel film has delivered that old Marvel magic — which is a perfect mix of box office gold and audience goodwill — Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. And that’s it for Guardians. Star-Lord and company are officially retired. Writer/director James Gunn has now moved over to Warner Bros. to save that superhero universe (only to have his first movie shelved).
Sure, since 2019, post-Endgame, some Marvel titles have made money, but there is no goodwill or excitement around Shang-Chi, The Gay Eternals, Doctor Strange, Emasculated Thor, the Chadwick Boseman-less Black Panther, or Ant-Man. The MCU’s future was supposed to hang on Boseman (which would’ve worked with decent scripts — but Boseman’s unlimited talent was lost to cancer) and Kang the Conqueror (whose promising career has likely been defeated by a storm of abuse allegations).
The only good news for Marvel is that no MCU features are scheduled for 2024. Maybe absence will make the nerd-heart grow fonder. Yes, Deadpool 3 hits theaters next year in July, but that’s not really an MCU movie. Then comes Captain America: Brave New World in February 2025, but that title is already getting terrible press. As talented and likable as Anthony Mackie is, he is no leading man. Can he replace Chris Evans, who is barely a leading man? We’ll see.
Then comes Hollywood’s third attempt at a Fantastic Four movie in May of 2025. Then something called Thunderbolts in July of 2025. Then, the much-troubled Blade in November of 2025. And then — lmao — Avengers: The Kang Dynasty, which is supposed to sum it all up in May of 2026.
What if Kang’s dynasty ends up being located in Sing Sing?
Setting that aside, other than Deadpool (who isn’t really MCU), there is nothing close to iconic in that list of upcoming Marvel movies, and I mean nothing. This means no one will care about that BIG AVENGERS MOVIE in 2026.
I understand why Disney and Kevin Feige wanted to offload the original Avengers. Stars get expensive, they get old, and you want new blood… But when you consult your DEI Affirmative Action Chart to replace them instead of seeking out new icons with actual appeal, charisma, and star power, this is what you get, and that is no replacement for this.
With production and promotion costs, the identity-politics cultists at Disney poured around $350 million into this — which hardly looks like a step up from this.
It is a good day for Disney haters…
And I’m having myself a good day.
John Nolte’s debut novel Borrowed Time (Bombardier Books) is available today. You can read an exclusive excerpt here and a review of the novel here.
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