Serial Pooper Stalks Norwegian Golf Course, ‘Poos Too Massive to be a Woman’

A Norwegian golf course is having to take extraordinary steps to tackle a problem the owners must never thought they’d face: a serial pooper.

Stavanger Golf Club has tasked their groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord with trying to catch, or at least discourage a man who sneaks onto the golf course and uses it as his own personal toilet.

The Local reports that Tennfjord said: “He has a couple of favourite holes… And we know it is a man because the poos are too massive to be from a woman.”

“In the early years the stools were relatively hard but they’ve changed. Perhaps he’s been taking laxatives or maybe he doesn’t have the best diet,” Tennfjord added, before his colleagues told a local newspaper about how the culprit manages to escape capture.

“He climbed up a tree next to the lights and wriggled far out on a branch and dismantled the spotlights. How he managed the feat without electrocuting himself or falling is a riddle,” said one groundsman.

The managing director of the club, Steinar Fløisvik, was equally perplexed: “Our idea is that it could be someone who, for unknown reasons, hates the game of golf. Alternatively, the person may have a fetish or suffer from mental problems.”

Whatever the reasons behind the serial pooper’s actions, it’s clear that the whole situation is a big mess for the club.