Daniel J. Flynn

Daniel J. Flynn

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Frank Gifford

Frank Gifford, Author of an Almost Fictional Football Life, Lives Forever in Gridiron’s Greatest Novel

Frank Gifford, who died this weekend at 84, lived as a man too blessed. An All-Pro at running back, wide receiver, and defensive back who threw fourteen touchdown passes for good measure, offseason actor, product pitchman for Vitalis, Lucky Strikes, and Palmolive, staple of the Monday Night Football booth for more than a quarter century, and husband of Kathie Lee, Frank Gifford so obviously would make an excellent fictional character that he naturally became one.

Tom Bradt

The NFL’s Kangaroo Court Won’t Stand in Federal Court

Investigator Ted Wells asserted attorney-client privilege a half dozen times during his testimony during the Deflategate appeal to avoid discussion of matters between him and the National Football League, which he now terms his client. Simultaneously, Wells stressed his complete independence from the entity that readers discovered he represents as an attorney.

Cowardly Lion

Lions Are People Too

Cecil, a socially-conscious king of the jungle, presumably eschewed the parched-grassland delicacies of antelope, zebra, and giraffe in favor of vegan fare. This would explain why his apostles trashed Walter Palmer’s vacation home and St. Sharon Osbourne, married to a known predator of smaller flying creatures, dubbed the hunter “Satan” and called for his head mounted to a wall. Such a beautiful creature would never stoop to the level of a beastly dentist.

John Harbaugh, Michael Phelps, Steve Bisciotti

Email: Ravens Tipped Off Colts About Ball Tampering Suspicions

The documents released as part of Tom Brady’s lawsuit against the NFL include an email from Indianapolis Colts equipment manager Sean Sullivan to general manager Ryan Grigson stating that the Baltimore Ravens informed the Colts that they suspected the New England Patriots of tampering with footballs.

Troy Vincent, Rick Smith

‘F’ in Science: NFL Admits Not Knowing Balls Lose Air Pressure Naturally

A transcript released of testimony given before Roger Goodell in the Deflategate appeal reveals that the NFL remained ignorant of the Ideal Gas Law and the influence of temperature on ball pressure when the league busted the New England Patriots for playing with balls beneath the league’s minimum pressure levels in the AFC Championship Game.

Ultimate Frisbee Getty

Ultimate Frisbee Recognized by International Olympic Committee

The International Olympic Federation recognized disc sports, including ultimate frisbee and disc golf, at its 128th session at Kuala Lumpur this weekend. The IOC did not say whether they plan to recognize the tradition of drinking between holes (disc golf) or smoking pot after games (ultimate frisbee), too.

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