Inside the Head of Hillary Clinton

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE from thousands of people on the Washington Mall.)

Announcer:

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, the poet laureate; Maya Angelou.”

(Applause from the masses and inauguration VIPs.)

Maya Angelou:

“The men on Mt. Rushmore will chatter,

as they hear that glass ceiling shatter,

for the world has given us a strong woman,

to right what ever is the matter.

And woe to man, when this wo-man is at hand!

So ring a bell and strike up the band!

Play a fanfare!

A fanfare for the not-so common wo-man!”

Bill Clinton standing, clapping and interrupting:

“Yaaaaaaaaaaah Maya, that’s great, honey, remember when you did that poem for me at my swearing in? I still really don’t get it, baby.

(Security tries to sit President Clinton down.)

“Get away from me! Hey Hillary, remember when Maya did that nice poem for me! HILLARY! HILLARY! I AM TALKING TO YOU! HILLLLLLLLLAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!!!!!!!!! PRESIDENT CLINTON HERE! HILLLLLLLLLAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!!!!!!!!!”

Wake up.

Stare at the intricate pattern on the North Korean hotel room’s ceiling.

Boy I sure hope this room was swept for bugs.

Check the clock. Oh, gosh, it’s only 3 AM. Hah, there’s some irony for ya.

My inner clock is just so off. I guess I should check my Blackberry. Crap, no service… way to go communism.

I really don’t know what I am doing here – kissing up, I guess. Man, Obama’s got some weird ideas about appeasement. He just wants to cave on everything. I would not do it this way. I have my future to think about. If I see this ship starting to sink more than it already is, I just might have to resign.

This guy is dictating some strange policy here. I guess he thinks that everyone on the globe is going to fall for that, “I’m really cool, so let’s be friends” crap. Maybe this is all a fairy tale. Ohhh Bill,… you can be so right sometimes.

That meeting yesterday with “Dear Leader” was weird. He was so quiet. Even his staff looked nervous. Maybe it was his double? You think the agency could check this nutty stuff out in advance. I might be talking to a shoe salesman for goodness sake.

It’s such a horribly long flight getting here. I didn’t need that wise-ass from Fox News asking me if we took any fire at the airport… what nerve.

And what the heck is with all the little girls dancing at the airport? Creepy.

(Phone Rings in a strange old-fashioned Communist electronic tone.)

“Hello…. Yes Bill…

Bill, it is 3 AM here…

Yes I am aware of the irony…

I know things are a little boring for you now that you can’t chase around the globe on speaking tours anymore…

Well, Call up HW Bush. Maybe you guys can jump out of a plane together…. Bye Bill.”

It’s like having an adolescent at home I swear.

Well Hillary, in 8 years, you’ll get what you always dreamed about… we just have to have the right balance of appeasement, peace and luck to make sure the public doesn’t shift back to the right.

But maybe the iron will be hottest in four years? Kind of an “I told ya so” campaign. Hmmmmmm. Yes… I told ya so……. I told ya so………

(Drifts back off to sleep.)

(The jubilant chanting crowd on the mall, fuzzes back into that sunny day.)

YES SHE CAN! YES SHE CAN! YES SHE CAN! YES SHE CAN! YES SHE CAN!

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