Articles by Iowahawk

The System Worked

May 21, 2013: Apple CEO Tim Cook called before Congress to get a scolding for failing to pay more federal taxes than the company legally owed. May 29, 2013: Apple CEO Tim Cook announces he has hired recently departed EPA

Paging Lewis Carroll

From the Dept. of Crumbling Empires: via the Daily Mail, MI5 ex-chief Stella Rimington has a fever, and the only cure is Moar Police State: The former head of MI5 Dame Stella Rimington has called for British people to inform

Celebrity Math

In response to The Craziest Photo from the White House Correspondents Dinner Red Carpet: + =

NY Times: Anti-Satire Suicide Bombers

In response to The New York Times ‘News Analysis:’ Review of Tsarnaev’s Tweets Reveals a ‘Holden Caufield-Like Adolescent Alienation’: How in hell is anyone supposed to make a living as a satirist when the New York Times keeps upping the

Welcome to the University of America

In response to Tamerlan Tsarnaev Was on Terrorist Watch List: Liz, not only did DHS/FBI ignore terrorism warnings from Russia, it seems they actually tried to persuade Canada to delay arresting the alleged Al Qaeda plotters of a train attack.

Dragged Kicking and Screaming to Their Own Job

In response to Gosnell and Media Bias: Remember when journalists reported news to the public, not the other way around? In dribs and drabs, it appears national media are finally being shamed into offering some coverage of the Gosnell trial: 

A Modest Proposal

Gun ownership in Illinois is, well, an adventure.  On my birthday last year I visited the delightfully-named ‘Smoke N Gun’ in Waukegan and applied for a state FOID (firearm owner identification) card. For those who are unfamiliar, possession of an

Yours, Mine and Ours

In response to A further thought on the collective ‘ownership’ of children: One of the creepier features of lefty language is the application of possessive pronouns. “My” is for rights (real or imagined), “your” is for responsibilities, “our” is for

That Goes Double for Comedy

In response to Another Post Begging for Good Storytelling: At the expense of linking to BuzzFeed, I completely agree with Ben Howe’s analysis. If conservatives want to be in the narrative biz, they need to step up their game. And if

Cesar H. Chavez

In response to How Google celebrates Easter: I can’t get too worked up over Google’s selection of Cesar Chavez for their Easter Sunday Doodle. They’re a private multinational corporation, after all, and Christians aren’t their only customers. I’m sure they

Tale of the Tape: Touré vs Ben Carson

  Toure’  Ben Carson   Full name  Toure’ Neblett  Benjamin S. Carson, MD   Age 42  61   Birthplace Boston, MA   Detroit, MI  Profession saying stuff on fringe cable network   Chief of Pediatric Neurosurgery,Johns Hopkins Hospital; Professor of Neurosurgery, Oncology, and Pediatrics,Johns Hopkins University

Same Sex Marriage and Gilligan's Island Game Theory

In response to Same-sex marriage and the balance of compulsion: After 28 years of wedded bliss and 2 kids, I’m guessing I’m probably the Conversation’s resident marriage champ. (It was an arranged Hindu ceremony, I was 3 and she was 2.)

Indecent Proposal

On top of Joe Biden’s $585,000.50 one-night hotel bill in Paris, we now learn Uncle Choo Choo and his traveling pals rang up another $321,665 in limousines during their layover in the City of Light. In the original version of

One Night in Paris*

In response to The latest news from the blasted wasteland of austerity: [*If you arrived at this post via Google search, please note: title refers to government spending porn, not Miss Hilton’s sex tape]  John, to be more precise Uncle

The Three Christs of Ypsilanti

In response to Academic babble and the strangulation of thought: John – on Twitter, Aaron Lewis (@AA_Lew) points out the eerie parallels between the various arguing parties in the video and “The Three Christs of Ypsilanti” by Milton Rokeach (1964).

The Vanguard

In response to Thanks A Lot, You Guys : Glad to oblige, Debra. Think of the video (and its equally compelling part 2) as a tin of intellectual caviar – once you get past the initial gag reflex, it actually has


In response to Extraordinary: Truly, one of the best, and most horrifying documentaries I have ever seen; absurdist yes, but also a wry allegory on the vanishing substance of language. It should be re-edited with interspersed films of industrial slaughterhouses.

The Thought Leaders of Tomorrow

TGIF, and get your stopwatches ready! It’s time to play… How Long Can You Take an Argument Between Campus Lefties? 

Media Demands New Coke From Vatican

Against the advice of its self-appointed marketing consultants in the media, the Vatican has once again lost a strategic opportunity to reinvent itself as the new improved religious brand of politically-correct liberal hipsters. You know, the same strategy that’s been

Stupid Plane Stunts

The latest idiocy from Sequester Hostage Theater: the federal budget is so pared to the bone that the Navy Blue Angels will be forced to withdraw from the Chicago Air and Water Show and other appearances around the country. Here’s the

This Is What A Republic Looks Like

In response to Excitement and exhaustion: And it’s damned refreshing after the “democracy” street theatrics of the Wisconsin capitol and Occupy Whatever.   One man with principles beats the hell out of a vuvuzela-blowing mob.

The 5 Stupidest Decisions in My Life

In response to Top Five Smartest Decisions of My Life: I’d love to join the game here, but I’m coming up about 4 smart decisions short of an official entry. As an alternative let me tap a much richer source

The Kids Are Alright

And now for a good word about Chicago public schools: I spent a leisurely afternoon yesterday at the Chicago World of Wheels hot rod & custom car show, and happened upon this group of Dunbar High students proudly showing off

Ballad of the DC Sequester Dustbowl

They used to tell me I was building a dream I joined the President’s mob There were rules to make and budgets to spend At my EPA, it was my job They used to tell me I was building a

1 A.B.

The first time I met Andrew in person I wasn’t quite sure what to think. It was 2010; he was slated to speak at a fundraiser at the Blackstone Hotel in downtown Chicago for Cedra Crenshaw, a candidate for a

Mean Girls

In response to And the Thrall Gathered to Denounce the Witch and Drive the Devil From Her With a Hail of Stones: Now we know what it takes to get the DC media to go DefCon One: a story starring

I'm a People Person, Dammit

The question that needs to be asked of every last employee of the federal government: In fact, let’s make it a reality comedy series: The Sequester Bobs randomly call DC bureaucrats into the conference room to explain what exactly it

The Order of Malibu Distinguished Bravery Cross

In response to After The Oscars: How DARE you impugn these fine dramatic artists, Jerome. Do you realize how much fierce courage it takes to be this amazingly brave at one’s craft? Also, fierceness.

Tinseltown Magic, Iowahawk Style

Can’t get enough Oscar glamour? You’re in luck! Enjoy some photos of my trip to Hollywood last week:


Yes, McFarlane. You don’t like Jews. We get it.

Attention Hollywood Producers

Why not combine the excitement of the Oscars with the excitement of NASCAR?  I give you the ultimate reality TV cross-demographic ratings bonanza, the NOSCARS – where flaming car wrecks fly into grandstands full of movie actors! I’m only asking

Dresden Bombing

Hippies ruin everything, Exhibit 8,346,788:  My wife and I are currently in Los Angeles on our annual sabbatical from Chicago’s subarctic wintertime cruelties. After a pleasant President’s Day afternoon at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, we returned

Visiting Hours 4 – 6 PM

Sad news from the state whose license plate motto is “Stamped By A Former Governor”: former U.S. Congressman Jesse “Bud Man” Jackson Jr. has reached an agreement with federal prosecutors to plead guilty to charges of misuse of campaign funds.

Chicago, City of Romance

Happy VD from the City of Big Shoulders, where on this date in 1929 a team of Cupids working for St. Scarface famously shot lead arrows through the hearts of Bugs Moran’s boys in the back of a Northside garage. That

You’re In Luck, Fellas

There’s still time to arrange a romantic dinner for that special lady!  

The Quality of Mercy Is Not Strained

In response to Suzi Parker Now Happily Dating Area Man: There comes a time when a man must stand up and demand an end to the public ridicule and incessant cruel humiliation of a fellow human being over a silly

Suzi Parker, Ace Reporter

Something called “Suzi Parker” who writes something called “She The People” at something called “The Washington Post” bagged the scoop of the century earlier today, in a report originally entitled “Sarah Palin’s plan to reach ‘millions of devoutly religious people’

Goofus and Gallant

Exhibit A: a speech which we are now informed was rude, inappropriately confrontational, offensive, insolent, if not downright seditious. Exhibit B: from 2006, a speech which we were then informed was bold, heavily nuanced, gutsy, brilliant, an all-around act of patriotic

Climate Gods Angry

In response to Out of the Mouths of Reporters: After blaming “climate change” (caused, apparently, by my electric Margarita machine) for volcanos, earthquakes, and tsunamis, why the hell not asteroids? I eagerly await some intrepid journo-scientist investigating how climate change