Stephen Colbert: ‘I Had Sex With Donald Trump’

Stephen Colbert attends The Museum of Modern Art Film Benefit tribute to Tom Hanks on Tuesday, Nov. 15, 2016, in New York. (Photo by Charles Sykes/Invision/AP)
Charles Sykes/Invision/AP

Late-night host Stephen Colbert opened his CBS show on Thursday night with a cringe-worthy attempt to collect what he called President Donald Trump’s “hush” money, claiming that he and the commander-in-chief had “dirty dog” sex.

The Late Show show’s pornographic pun played on a series of tweets in which President Trump defended his $130,000 payment to porn star Stormy Daniels, explaining that it was part of his lawyer Michael Cohen’s monthly retainer.

“It’s all the porn stars you want to silence, for one low monthly fee. Cohen calls it ‘Netchix.’ And it comes with streaming,” Colbert joked.

Stephen Colbert detailed Trump’s tweets in which he explained how the sorts of payments he made to Daniels are “very common among celebrities.”

“Hold on: I’m a celebrity and a ‘people of wealth,’ and I don’t have any NDAs,” Colbert belted out before making his sexually charged claim about President Trump.

“Trump is claiming that he paid Cohen a monthly fee to hush up all the affairs he wasn’t having,” Colbert said. “So that means anyone can just say they had an affair with Donald Trump and leave with a hundred and thirty grand. In that case, I had sex with Donald Trump. It’s gonna come out eventually. I don’t mean love, it was dirty dog.”

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