Chelsea Handler Scorched for Mocking Parenthood, Boasting of ‘Childless’ Life: ‘Saddest Thing I Have Ever Seen’

Chelsea Handler arrives at the 28th annual Critics Choice Awards at The Fairmont Century P
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Joshua Klein

Comedian and Democrat activist Chelsea Handler is drawing sharp backlash online after boasting of her carefree “childless” life concentrating solely on her own pleasures and one that doesn’t involve “chasing” kids in a grocery store or dealing with “screaming kids” while travelling, while claiming: “It’s amazing what you can do when you have this much free time.”

In a Thursday post captioned “Just another day,” Handler shared a video where she pokes fun at family life by claiming to enjoy her childless existence.

The roughly one-minute clip for “The Daily Show” shows the 47-year-old comedian — who has previously claimed to have undergone several abortions while in high school — explaining in upbeat fashion her daily routine as a childless woman. 

“This is a day in the life of a childless woman,” Handler says as she waves and smiles.

Her morning routine, she continues, consists of waking at 6:00 AM only to remember that she has “no kids to take to school.” 

“So I take an edible, masturbate and go back to sleep,” she says. 

After waking again at 12:30 in the afternoon, Handler then prepares for a “busy day of doing whatever the f*** I feel like.” 

“I put on my most impractical stylish shoes since I won’t be chasing a child around the grocery store,” she says, which is followed by her visiting her favorite spot in Paris “to grab a croissant.”

On the plane ride there, Handler says she practices meditation “since I have no screaming kids, allowing me all the time of the world to become enlightened.” 

“The weightlessness of my existence has granted me superhuman powers [and] I teleport myself back home,” she continues. 

At night, Handler prepares “for a night out with whatever hot guy I met on Raya that morning.”

 She then dials the babysitter just to “tell her that I don’t need her since I still don’t have kids.” 

For her personal workout, she decides to “hit Mount Everest for a quick climb,” and then invents a time machine in order to travel back in time to “kill Hitler.” 

“It’s amazing what you can do when you have this much free time,” she concludes. “And that’s a day in the life of a childless woman.”

While Handler may have regarded her take as amusing, its premise was no laughing matter to many.

“She left out the part where she cries alone at night from the realization that her ‘freedom’ came at the cost of true fulfillment,” wrote Babylon Bee chief Seth Dillon.

“Actually, it came at the cost of the lives of her children,” he added. “I didn’t realize she’d bragged about having murdered multiple babies.”

“Just another day of not being funny,” wrote talk radio host Jason Rantz.

“I wouldn’t trade my babies for literally anything and I used to never see myself as a mother,” wrote Meghan McCain, the daughter of the late Sen. John McCain (R-AZ).

“Women are allowed and celebrated to make whatever choices they want and that’s fine – but I think we should really stop mocking mothers like our lives are somehow awful or unfulfilling,” she added.

“Being a parent can be difficult and painful but I would not trade being a father to my children for anything,” wrote popular evolutionary behavior scientist Dr. Gad Saad.

“My daughter just gave me a box of chocolate and flowers for Valentine’s,” he added. “I’m the richest man for it.”

“The framing of this is very interesting as it centres having a family as the lodestone of human existence,” wrote social commentator Carl Benjamin. 

“Waking up at 6am and ‘remembering’ you don’t have kids implies that subconsciously you think/dream you do; everything after that is a sad fantasy to cope with loneliness,” he added.

“All the Prozac and Xanax in the world can’t suppress the misery and regret emanating from her,” wrote commentator Lauren Chen.

“So, you’re unhappy and posting this to cope. Got it,” wrote conservative rapper Bryson Gray. 

“Children are gifts from god that makes us better than ourselves and make every memory more special than it would be without them,” tweeted writer Pedro L. Gonzalez.

“It’s sad how many people have been convinced otherwise, or convinced themselves otherwise, but misery loves company,” he added.

“If you think this is sad, imagine what it’ll look like in 20 years when her peers are surrounded by children and grandchildren, and she’s completely alone, comforted by little more than pills, alcohol, and thoughts of what could’ve been were she not a self-absorbed wretch,” wrote Federalist co-founder Sean Davis.

“When you worship self and abortion is your sacrament,” tweeted LifeNews.com, a pro-life news outlet “fighting abortion.”

“This is the saddest thing I have ever seen, and also a reason for every young woman NOT to repeat your horrendous existence,” wrote podcaster Graham Allen.

“I truly pity this woman,” wrote Marine Corps veteran and political commentator Joey Jones.

The matter comes as Democrats continue to attack the family and portray children as an inconvenience and obstruction to happiness, while pushing a radical pro-abortion agenda.

On Tuesday, the BBC published a piece describing the current “no-kids movement” — including “consciously child-free influencers” and “online communities for people who’ve decided against having kids” — as “booming.”

In June, Handler smeared pro-lifers, comparing the GOP to O.J. Simpson while claiming Republicans are not pro-life because they support the Second Amendment.

“Universal health care, that’s pro-life,” she said. “Restricting guns, that’s pro-life. Fighting climate change, that’s also pro-life. Listening to doctors during a pandemic, also pro-life — not forcing women to give birth like livestock.”

“But your party opposes all of those things,” Handler added. “Calling Republicans pro-life is like calling O.J. Simpson pro-wife.”

Follow Joshua Klein on Twitter @JoshuaKlein.

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