Joe Mixon’s Agent Accuses Teens of Performing ‘Paramilitary Movements’ Before Shooting

We now know why the person inside Joe Mixon’s residence opened fire on a teenager playing a game with a fake gun in the street: He thought they were ISIS!

Not quite, but this explanation is beyond bizarre.

Last week, Joe Mixon’s sister, Shalonda, and her boyfriend, Lamonte Brewer, were indicted for felonious assault, tampering, and obstruction of justice, stemming from an incident where Brewer fired shots from Mixon’s property at a teenager who was playing NERF war in the street.

Eleven shots were reportedly fired, and a teen was struck in the foot.

Lamonte Brewer has been indicted for one count of felonious assault. Hamilton County Prosecuting Attorney says. Shalonda Mixon, sister of Joe Mixon, indicted for tampering with evidence and obstructing justice. Brewer also indicted on other charges. pic.twitter.com/DD8UAMYXjB

— Ben Baby (@Ben_Baby) March 16, 2023

By all accounts, the kids participating in the NERF war were teenagers. However, in a statement that it’s not even clear he had to make since his client is not charged with a crime, Joe Mixon’s agent Peter Schaffer called the teens “young adults” and characterized their game with fake guns like a scene from We Were Soldiers.

Specifically, Shaffer said the “young adults” were performing “paramilitary movements.”

It is now understood that the young adults were playing a game which involves running around neighborhoods performing paramilitary movements with plastic guns designed to look like real weapons. This is an activity that is known to and acknowledged by both the local school district and the sheriff’s department. This is clearly a serious issue, and we join with all concerned parents, youth groups, teachers and other school districts to look at this game and help find ways to encourage safe and smart participation during daylight hours. An immense tragedy was narrowly avoided in this instance. We can’t allow any other young adults to be placed in this type of peril.

Statement from #Bengals RB Joe Mixon’s agent, Peter Schaffer, on the decision by the Hamilton County Prosecutor not to file charges against Mixon based on an incident at Mixon’s house on March 6. pic.twitter.com/Qj7Z1jsnfw

— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) March 16, 2023

So, there you have it. Lamonte Brewer saved Joe Mixon’s house from assault. No, he didn’t. But this statement is ridiculous. In any event, Joe Mixon has a very creative agent.