This is not the real Anthony Weiner.
Somebody hacked him and this is an avatar named, Tony…uh….Tony….Whiner.
It’s a subtle difference in name, but makes all the difference in the world when it comes to what is going on here. Once you know what really happened, it will all fall right into place.
Anthony Weiner was a guy who attacked Republicans and made them cry when he went after them. This clearly was not that guy at the seven-minute news conference where he answered zero questions. He wasn’t asked what his name was, so since the media didn’t ask, we still can’t be sure who that was.
Even libs in the media are confused with who this new guy was who showed up at a news conference to talk about how Karl Rove, or somebody named Karl Rove, must’ve been looking over his shoulder while doing secret surveillance thanks to the Patriot Act and found his password (which BTW was “ImNotMarkFoley”) and hacked his Twitter account.
Even Salon.com is confused. They love Weiner, but don’t know this new guy. Here’s what they said:
Anthony Weiner has a richly-earned reputation as one of the most press savvy legislators on Capitol Hill, a smart, cocky, quick-witted quote machine who has become a favorite of television producers and built a sizable national following in the last few years.
Okay, forget that part, but Tony held a news conference the other night disguised as Anthony and Salon thought this new guy’s “performance was completely and totally out of character.” See…what have they done with Anthony, where are they hiding him and what have they done with his password, (which at one time was “ChrisLeeWuzRobbed”)?
This Tony guy wouldn’t answer questions. Reporters asked him about his Twitter account and how Dick Cheney’s tech-guy in Wyoming must’ve moved to New York and found out his password from Client #9’s former girlfriend (which has now been changed to, “ImNotJohnEdwards”) and hacked into his account so he could send pictures of his pants to some young girl chosen at random in Seattle. Maybe he thought she was a Seahawk Cheerleader and Brett Favre made him do it.
Jon Stewart is the sharpest knife in the drawer and he has still not noticed his “friend” has been hacked. He made jokes about “WeinerGate” the other night and added, “but as a friend of his, I hope this story is not true.” No worries, Jon, Tony Whiner will be caught and do his just time in Oscar Meyer Hell. The Networks still don’t know about this story yet, but that’s understandable because they figured out the switcheroo long ago and will cover that story when Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab and they have the extra time on the evening news.
Sources tell me Anthony may have been in the room at the time with Tony when the photo was taken, but he was trying to take a picture of the paperwork on the House Budget Ways and Means Committee of Regulatory Council Findings on Statutory Procedural Recommendations that was on his bedside at the time and the camera slipped. It could happen. The tweet was intended for personal gratification because Anthony loves to study those documents between charity events while learning Mandarin.
Or this could all just be a plan for Anthony to get more followers than Justin Bieber. He’s only 9.5 million followers behind right now, but gaining ground slowly.
Another way that we could tell this was Tony Whiner and not Anthony Weiner was that this guy at the news conference would not answer questions (have I mentioned that yet?). The media tried to ask Tony if he sent the picture and he kept changing the subject and talking about people throwing pies at him. Anthony wouldn’t do that. He’s always straight forward, direct, honest, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent and earned his Photography Merit Badge long ago.
Believe it or not, this “hacking thing” has happened to the real Anthony Weiner before. In 2010 somebody else hacked into his Twitter account (when the password was “hastalavistababy!”) and forgot that the jackass is the symbol of the Democrat Party. The fake Whiner likes using that word “jackass,” the real Weiner would know better.
For the moment, this is all very confusing to the media, but it will get much clearer with time. The media always has a way of getting to the bottom of these things quickly, like they did when Edwards was running for president in 2008. They knew right away that Edwards was telling the truth and told us so. Nothing gets past them, even when Tony Whiner tries to pose as Anthony Weiner and did not say that he wasn’t sure if it wasn’t him or not him who may or may not have possibly hacked his Twitter account (with the new password of “macaca”) and accidentally sent the picture of his laundry to Somewhere in Seattle.
Whatever happens here, somebody needs to catch this Tony guy before he starts casting votes. Who knows what how far this could go. We could have Tony run for Governor of California, take over the IMF, or become President of Italy before we catch him.
BTW, if you want to go on-line and post as Anthony Weiner, it’s easy to do, his new password is, “IHateBreitbart!”