O’Rourke: Trump ‘Double Agent,’ Cruz ‘Dragging In’ ‘Old Social Issues,’ I ‘Hate It With This Immigration Stuff’

Author and political satirist P.J. O’Rourke stated Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump “will finally be exposed as a double agent,” criticized GOP presidential candidate Texas Senator Ted Cruz for “dragging in all these tired, sick, old social issues” and said of Cruz and Trump, “I really do hate it with this immigration stuff” on Tuesday’s broadcast of “CNN Tonight.”

O’Rourke said, “Cruz could actually get…nominated. I’m assuming that Trump will finally be exposed as a double agent, and will have to be stuck in a Chappaqua safe house, or wherever Hillary has got Bill stashed. But Cruz could actually get the nomination, and that would just be a disaster for the Republican Party. He’s dragging in all these tired, sick, old social issues, get out of here. Stop it with the stuff about the gay marriage, stop it with the — I’m a 68-year-old guy with three kids, I’m supposed to raise my own children? Come on, I need immigration.”

He added, “bring in a boring guy. Okay, Republican candidates are supposed to be boring. We’ve got several that’ll do just fine, there’s Jeb. Kasich is a perfect example, a good boring governor of a purple state, very popular governor of a purple state, lots of experience in the House of Representatives, and he’s polling at like no percent.”

O’Rourke continued, “that’s what being a Republican is all about is low energy. We want a smaller government, a more efficient government, a government that doesn’t poke its nose into everybody’s business. We would like the government to go, not away, but to go back to the other end of the room, and sit down.”

O’Rourke said that the 2016 race is “worse than the Salem Witch Trials. I mean, because what kind of witch trial leaves Hillary not with her ankles in the stocks? I don’t get it. They have gone crazy for Trump, who is just a bad man. I mean, that kind of language, I mean, honestly, you know, I mean, it’s like talking to some drunk guy in a bar at midnight. And people are going for it. I just don’t understand.”

O’Rourke later added, “I thought there was a Republican establishment who was supposed to keep things like Trump or, for that matter, Cruz from happening, and then I realized, no, they’re all dead. I’m the Republican establishment now. And it was a sad and burdensome thing to find out. And I wish I knew what to do.”

He further declared, “I really do hate it with this immigration stuff. I mean, O’Rourke, was that a tribe in the Dakotas somewhere? I don’t think so. We are a nation of immigrants, what’s keeping us ahead of the Europeans and other economies is our welcoming of immigrants. That’s what keeps our age down, you know, I mean, everybody’s got to support me, soon, for Social — with Social Security. We need some young folks.”

O’Rourke concluded, “if Donald Trump gets the nomination, if Donald Trump makes me vote for Hillary Clinton, I’m coming after him with the two weapons he is most frightened of, a building inspector and Kobe Bryant’s barber.”

Follow Ian Hanchett on Twitter @IanHanchett


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