Morning Call Sheet: Shia-less 'Transformers,' Spock Is Still Gay, What Are Dixie Chicks?

DIXIE CHICKS’ VH1 STORYTELLERS AVAILABLE NOVEMBER 29

What are Dixie Chicks again?

All I seem to remember are three mouthy narcissists who were so desperate for attention they posed nude on the cover of Entertainment Weekly and then had a flop documentary made about them that portrayed the pampered multi-millionaires as victims of their own wildly stupid use of free speech.

Those Dixie Chicks?

Can I get a “whoa whatever”?

BREAKING: ZACHARY QUINTO IS STILL GAY

We have now entered day two of Zachary Quinto being gay. Rumor has it, he will still be gay tomorrow and possibly through the end of the week. Obviously this means that everything he does is more important than it was last week and it is now our duty to ooh and ahh over the profundity of everything He Who Is Above Using Capital Letters says.

Such an inspiration.

And why didn’t someone tell me that being gay suddenly makes everything you do so precious and important–you know, when there was still time for that information to do me some good?

HERESY: ‘TWILIGHT’ STARS JOIN IMMORTALS AT GRAUMAN’S CHINESE THEATRE

“Bloody Disgusting” has this exactly right. Over 80-plus years only around 250 recipients have been honored with immortality at Grauman’s and to have these three–who have done nothing other than star in a popular franchise–join is like having some one-hit wonder enter the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.

I love movies but, man alive, do I hate pop culture.

If the “Twilight” cast had even an ounce of class they would refuse this until they legitimately earned this rare privilege.

‘TRANSFORMERS 4 & 5′ SHOOTING BACK-TO-BACK? JASON STATHAM STARRING?

Jason Statham … now there’s an action star. The whole Shia Le-what’s-his-name craze never made a lick of sense to me.

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SCOTTDS’ EPIC LINK-TACULAR

IN WHICH WE CONFESS TO LIKING THE SIBLING ACTOR MORE

SKYPE TO CHALLENGE NETFLIX STREAMING?

BRYAN SINGER’S ‘EXCALIBUR’ REMAKE SHELVED

FOX DEVELOPING ‘ZOMBIELAND’ COMEDY SERIES

A HOLLYWOOD BREAK-UP THAT MATTERS

‘WALKING DEAD’ PREMIERES AT #1SMASHES RECORDS.

WILL SMITH’S $85K PER MONTH NYC CONDO WHILE FILMING ‘MEN IN BLACK 3’

‘DARK KNIGHT RISES’ HEADS TO NYC

20 OF HOLLYWOOD’S BEST PUNCHES TO THE FACE

HAPPY 85TH, CHUCK BERRY!

COMIC-CON BABE PHOTO GALLERY

THE INCREDIBLE, INTERCHANGEABLE FILMS OF STEVEN SEAGAL

STAR WARS 3D’ IS HAPPENING AND HERE’S THE POSTER TO PROVE IT

JOHNNY DEPP SET HIMSELF ON FIRE

IDEAS FOR ‘DEPARTED’ SEQUEL

SCARLETT JOHANSSON WAS TOO SEXY FOR ‘TATTOO?’

WHY?: ACTORS RECREATE CLASSIC MARTIN SCORSESE SCENES FOR HARPER’S BAZAAR

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LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING

Faster (2010): This is a real gem of a B-flick find. Not only is the action superb and the story compelling, but Dwayne Johnson’s performance is outstanding. Who would’ve guessed he had it in him to pull off a dramatic role so convincingly? I’m a believer that acting is all in the eyes. If I see the character and the moment in the actor’s eyes, I believe the performance. This is why I find post-1995 Meryl Streep a laughably bad actress. Her eyes always give away her self-conscious technique.

Yes, what I’m saying here is that The Rock is a better actor than Meryl Streep.

“Faster” also has a very serious and intelligent Christian theme that really comes together in the climax. In fact, I would qualify this as a Christian film. It also reminded me of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s “Maximum Risk” (1996), another intelligent, low-key but exciting film that deserved a bigger audience and similarly proved that its star — in the hands of the right director — has it in him to pull off an impressive dramatic performance.

With superb support from Billy Bob Thornton and the luscious Carla Gugino, a number of well-defined characters, and a whole new spin on what drives professional assassins, what you have with “Faster” is my favorite kind of movie–a secret that you can’t wait to pass on to others.

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CLASSIC PICK FOR WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 19

TCM:

1:00 AM Tea And Sympathy (1956) — A faculty wife risks her marriage to help a troubled teen tormented by his fellow students. Dir: Vincente Minnelli Cast: Deborah Kerr, John Kerr, Leif Erickson. C-122 mins, TV-PG, CC, Letterbox Format.

A beautifully filmed and acted story as well as a template in how to handle mature themes in a way that need not be shocking or in your face. Modern day Hollywood wouldn’t go near this story. Though it’s not made as clear in the film as it was in the play upon which it’s based, the young man in question is worried he’s gay. And it’s Deborah Kerr who takes those worries away.

Lucky bastard.

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