Post-Brexit Britain will ban the sale of fur and whale meat, Environment Secretary George Eustice has suggested.
Can’t you already just imagine the excitement this news will be generating in the Red Wall seats in the Midlands and the North of England?
‘I’ve lost my job, I can’t go to the pub, my grandchildren will still be paying off the national debt, my petrol car is about to taken away from me because Carrie Symonds thinks we should all drive Teslas that cost more than I earn in a year. But thank God the government I lent my vote to has got its priorities right: making sure I never have to worry about affording a fur coat for the wife because it’ll be illegal; and also making sure I never have to find out what whale meat tastes like.’
According to the Telegraph:
Mr Eustice told Times Radio: “We’re looking at a number of issues in the animal welfare sphere. Fur is one area. We banned the production of fur since at least 2002 in this country, one of the countries in the world that’s been first to outlaw its production.”
Lord Goldsmith, the animal welfare minister and a close friend of Boris Johnson’s fiancee, Carrie Symonds, is in charge of the policy, which would prohibit the import of wild animal fur and mean fur coats and clothes trimmed with fur would be banned.
The peer has called the fur trade “one of the grimmest of human activities”, while Ms Symonds has described people who want to buy fur as “sick”.
There’s a very simple solution for people who disapprove of animal fur: don’t buy it.
This will leave plenty for the rest of us who think that fur is an attractive, natural, time-honoured way of keeping warm in winter.
It amazes me that the Conservatives — traditionally the party of the free market — think it is a vote-winning policy to wipe out what is left of Britain’s fur retail industry and destroy yet another consumer freedom purely to appease the prime minister’s rabidly green girlfriend Carrie and her equally rabidly green ‘close friend’ Zac Goldsmith.
No one voted for Carrie Symonds to take charge of Britain’s environmental policy. Nor, for that matter, did anyone vote for Zac Goldsmith to do so. At the last general election, Zac lost his seat to the Lib Dems — that’s how popular he is. Losing your seat to the Lib Dems is like losing an international football match to San Marino. Yet somehow this unelected eco-fascist is now in charge of key areas of the UK economy (for, setting aside the whale meat and fur issue for a moment, there are few areas of an economy that the ‘environment’ does not touch).
Personally, my main objection to the fur ban is on environmental grounds. Having watched lots of David Attenborough propaganda documentaries on the BBC, I have become convinced that the worst evil in the world is plastic, which is murdering whales and other charismatic sea creatures on an epic scale if Dave’s quavering, whispery voiceovers are to be believed.
And what is fake fur made of?
Plastic, that’s what.
I’m astonished that Carrie and Zac, being at least as environmentally friendly as I am, haven’t seen this major flaw in their plan. Less animal fur means more plastic.
I rest my case.