CNN’s Jim Acosta had a tantrum (again) because President Trump chose not to call on him at Tuesday’s press conference with Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro.
In some ways you can’t blame Acosta for being so bitter. Hoping to be rewarded with his own primetime show on his own last-place network, Acosta, obviously at the request of puppetmaster Jeff Zucker, has worked overtime to turn himself into a worldwide laughingstock with his childish antics — his heckling, and physical abuse of female White House interns… And still no show! He is going to write a book no one will read, but that is zippo compared to …and now, James Acosta Tonight, uhm, tonight…
What’s more, all of this humiliation, disappointment, anger, and anxiety has taken a personal toll on ole’ Jim. This recent photo tells the sad story of a stress eater who, like his comrade Brian Stelter, believes additional chins will bring him some comfort to the abyss that is his self-esteem.
So imagine Acosta on Tuesday. You can tell from his freshly-blackened hair (the worst dye job since Liam Neeson’s in Taken), that James was all dressed up for a little confrontation-time with Trump, that he had laid in bed last night covered in powdered sugar and dreaming of how he would hijack the press conference, make it all about him, get a blackslap from the puppetmaster, which could only mean that those glorious words — …and now, James Acosta Tonight, uhm, tonight… — would soon ring across a primetime lineup that less than one percent of the population watches.
With the Hostess box was empty, Jim’s fat hands were now free to rub themselves together in anticipation of his big moment…
And then — tee hee — Trump didn’t call on him.
To which I can only say, God bless Donald Trump.
And why would Trump call on this heckling peacock?
Acosta doesn’t care that the world does not revolve around him, doesn’t care that a duly-elected president of the United States might want to communicate with the country that elected him,as opposed to having his message usurped by a chubby, insecure, dim-witted dye job who, without evidence, questions his sanity.
Trump used to call on Acosta pretty much all the time; maybe because he found the battle with CNN politically useful, maybe because he hoped Acosta might appreciate it and begin to behave like a professional… Whatever the reason, it was becoming tedious, counter-productive to the nation’s business, and if there is any justice in the world Trump will never call on Acosta again — if for no other reason than the pleasure we all gain in watching him melt down afterwards…
If you recall, it was a mere three weeks ago when, after being snubbed by Trump during a press conference in Hanoi, CNN’s Chief White House Crybaby was so unglued he could only sputter out a bunch of lies, easily proven lies about the identity of the reporters Trump chose to call on.
On Tuesday, Acosta was equally unglued and launched into an incoherent rant about … I’m not really sure what, but from the sound of it he was reading aloud from one of Kevin Spacey’s notebooks in the movie Se7en.
I’ve highlighted my favorite words:
[T]his is something that we’ve seen since President Trump came into office, called this network fake news, has referring to the press as the enemy of the people and so on is that this is a virus that is spreading around the world. When you have the President of the Brazil calling the press fake news, he is — he is trying to essentially, you know, in a sycophantic sort of way, suck up to the President of the United States. There’s no other way of putting it and trying to emulate him down as they call him in Brazil as the Trump of the tropics. You know, this is — this is another example of when the President of the United States says something here in the U.S. referring to the press as fake news, referring to the press in other derogatory terms, other leaders around the world, other governments around the world are listening and Jair Bolsonaro proved that to all of us here in this Rose Garden news conference, Brooke.
NewsBusters has the full meltdown here.
It would be unfair to describe the above as a word salad of paranoia when we all know Jim Acosta doesn’t like salad.
Acosta also let his little green-eyed monster fly at the Daily Caller, an outlet that was called on by the president:
You heard the President start his remarks at this joint news conference in that fashion and then he was asked that question by a reporter with The Daily Caller right at the very end. You know, it was the question was asked in a way that really teed it up like a game of tee ball here in the Rose Garden. The President was just sort of served up a softball there when he was asked, you know, whether or not the Democrats are advancing a lot of socialist ideas.
Jim Acosta accusing someone of softballing questions is like water accusing someone of wet.
If you want to see a chubby hypocrite in action, watch the delicious bust below:
— Jason Howerton (@jason_howerton) March 19, 2019
Acosta to Obama:
I wanted to ask you about what some people are calling your best week ever, last week. You had two Supreme Court decisions support the Affordable Care Act and gay rights; you also delivered a speech down in Charleston that was pretty warmly received… It seems you built up some political capitol for the remaining months of your presidency, I’m curious how you want to use it, what hard things do you want to tackle at this point?
You’re awesome and perfect and I love you and I need you to be more awesome before you leave me forever, and how do you like my hair? Too grey? I can fix that. I will fix that. My knees are wobbly, so I’m going to stop talking now so you can talk now because when you talk I, I, I, ooh, Oooh, OOOHHHH… That wasn’t what you thought it was.
If wasn’t real, we would have to invent him.