Why I Don't Want the National Health Service to Spend My Money on Sperm Banks for Lesbian Couples
"NHS to fund sperm bank for lesbians," reports the Mail On Sunday.
Or, as someone put it on Twitter:
The people must be allowed to have their cake and eat it or they'll sulk.....
There are lots of things that puzzle me about the 'enlightened' thinking behind this new measure. Like:
Is it really the State's job to decide on our behalf that families in which children reared by two parents of the same sex are now every bit as socially desirable as those with the more traditional female mother and male father arrangement?
Who made this new rule and how come we got no say in the matter?
Given that the National Health Service is effectively bankrupt isn't it a bit of a decadent luxury to strain the creaking system still further by diverting scarce resources that could have gone towards say, cancer care, on an area of "medicine" that has rather more to do with lifestyle choice than it does with urgent clinical necessity?
When is this egalitarian lunacy going to end?
I mean, call me biased - though I do very much share the lesbian community's sexual bias towards hot women, I have to admit to not being an actual lesbian myself - but I would have thought that when you're a lesbian couple part of the deal you ought reasonably to accept is that children aren't automatically on the menu.
I'm not arguing that lesbian couples shouldn't rear children. Look around and I'm sure we could find loads of happy examples of lesbian (and gay) couples making wonderfully loving surrogate parents and rearing children as well-balanced and content and cared-for as in any nuclear family.
But if that's what they want to do, then it should be an issue for them to deal with, not for the UK taxpayer. We have to deal with the cards we're dealt in life, making the most of our strengths but accepting gracefully that we can't have it all - certainly not at other people's expense - because that isn't "social justice": it's the exact opposite.
For example, my teeth are shit. This has no doubt proved a great handicap in my yearning to sleep with supermodels, present game shows or enjoy a lucrative career as a mouth model. Not for a second, though, would I expect my fellow taxpayers to fork out for the necessary dental surgery. That's because I recognise that there are people out there whose priorities on the best way to spend their hard-earned money may lie elsewhere.
From my perspective it may be that they are purblind fools: of course, in a perfect world, everyone would be sensible enough to realise that making James Delingpole's teeth shiny and bright and neat is a far far better use of anyone's money than frivolities like buying books for their kids or family holidays or food.
But as a grown-up I have, regretfully, to come to accept that not everyone feels about my needs the way I do.
Well I'm afraid it's the same with lesbians. If you want kids, fine, no one's going to stand in your way. (God knows, they wouldn't dare, in our politically correct times.) But just accept that if you want this luxury addition to your lifestyle then you're going to have to do what we all have to do with the luxuries in our life: save up and pay for it yourself.
Are lesbian couples so really devoid of male friends that they can't find a suitable volunteer to help them out? It's not like there's any shortage of men out there who'd be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. I could name several. Pretty much every man I've ever met, actually.
And if they don't want to indulge every heterosexual man's favourite fantasy, even for one night, then fair enough.
But, there's always plan B - the turkey baster.