‘Swingers’ dating advice not obsolete after 30 years

LOS ANGELES, Oct. 16 (UPI) — Swingers, released in theaters 30 years ago Sunday, launched Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau into major film and television roles. For many single men in the ’90s, it was also an aspirational dating handbook.

Favreau wrote the film about Mike (Favreau) and his friend Trent (Vince Vaughn), struggling actors in Los Angeles who cruise the local hot spots for dates. Trent and Sue (Patrick Van Horn) would give Mike advice about waiting two to six days to call a woman after he gets her phone number.

In 2026, forget the rules, or even meeting women in person. It’s all dating apps now. You can be in a coffee shop full of single people swiping on their phones instead of talking to each other.

Mike famously leaves six painful messages on Nikki’s (Brooke Langton) pre-voice mail answering machine. That would be a DM now, or a text with those three dots waiting for a reply. The worst part is he clearly got his whole number out before the beep on his first try.

But, the film’s depiction of trying to make a connection isn’t as outdated as other aspects of the dating world. Trent’s schtick, which landed Vaughn leading man roles before a string of party animal comedies, may be B.S. but his confidence is real.

That’s what makes him appealing. Trent is interesting enough without being toxic. He asks a Las Vegas waitress (Deena Martin) to meet later, and she must get that all the time, but Trent probably seems more interesting to have a drink with than most tourists.

Taking Trent and Mikey back to her place happens more for the movie’s narrative, but the payoff is that Mike can’t stop talking about his ex. Trent scores, but that’s to get him out of the room and for the comedy of Mike interrupting him to check his messages.

Even as a playboy, Trent’s motivation is to help his friend move on. His antics get all the attention and they’re the quotable parts of Swingers, but the movie is really about Mike’s breakup and moving on as an adult.

The first conversation he has with Rob (Ron Livingston) proves to be the thesis statement of the film. Mike’s ex will only call when Mike has moved on and met someone new, by which point he won’t need to hear from her.

Until then, Mike can either pretend to move on or really move on. Either way, he has to perform the behavior of moving on, whether he really has or not.

To boys in the ’90s, that Mike meets Lorraine (Heather Graham) in a bar seemed far-fetched, even a pre-Boogie Nights Graham. Look at it now, and the scene is really two sweet young people struggling with their careers in a new place sharing a dance.

The dance is an activity they could do together, which unfortunately has become harder to find in a culture isolated by cell phones. Swing dancing did enjoy a brief revival in the late ’90s, and it is quaint that people used to dance to songs with melodies.

Favreau and Vaughn met as supporting actors in the film Rudy. Trent even tells a story about his audition for an afterschool special, and he did several in 1990 and 1991.

What was unknowable to viewers outside L.A. was how accurate the depiction of the industry scene was. Mike and Trent can’t get a break from talking about the business because everyone they meet at a party or bar is involved somehow.

Perhaps a lot of people missed the message. Talking about work all the time is unappealing. It rightfully turns Trent off when a beautiful woman gives him her entire resume.

Many of the characters have to report back to their parents when they didn’t get the part for which they auditioned. It’s in the background, but it’s true that most people who try to make it in Hollywood have supportive families back home.

The families are excited to see their loved one potentially guest star on a TV show. It doesn’t seem like anyone has a family waiting for them to run out of money and come home, but even intended support creates a kind of pressure: ‘Why haven’t I made it yet?’

Swingers was director Doug Liman’s second movie. He went on to make big studio action movies like The Bourne Identity and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Now he’s making a movie with AI backgrounds.

While not as mainstream as Wayne’s World, we did call things “money” for a few years. Between the people who saw this indie film, largely the film school crowd, it was a connection. “Money” was a good slang word, a non-toxic way to compliment someone without objectifying them.

Trent and Mike’s road trip to Las Vegas had the cultural impact of “Vegas, baby, Vegas!” The way these innocent guys try to outsmart the Vegas comp system was also accurate. They were way out of their league.

The trendy party scene surely still exists. The way they would go out for drinks at 10, eat at 11, arrive at the party at midnight and then go to the Dresden after already seemed exhausting in my 20s.

But, sitting around playing Sega Genesis is just as real, and probably happened more frequently than the nightly parties.

Swingers was never going to get you a date or perfect the formula of when to call. It is worth remembering you should still go out, talk to people and be yourself.

Fred Topel, who attended film school at Ithaca College, is a UPI entertainment writer based in Los Angeles. He has been a professional film critic since 1999, a Rotten Tomatoes critic since 2001, and a member of the Television Critics Association since 2012 and the Critics Choice Association since 2023. Read more of his work in Entertainment.