Nolte: Desperate Washington Post Turns to AI After Brutal $77 Million Loss

After posting a devastating (tee hee) $77 million loss in 2023, the disgraced and doomed Washington Post is about to turn to artificial intelligence (AI).

I love this story so much I’ve asked it to gay-marry me…

Washington Post CEO and publisher Will Lewis “told Post staffers today that the newspaper will be looking for ways to use AI in its reporting as it seeks to recoup some of the $77 million it lost last year,” reports Futurism.

“To speak candidly: We are in a hole, and we have been for some time,” the CEO added. “This is all repairable, all doable, particularly if we do it together.”

The far-left Post’s technology officer told everyone to expect “AI everywhere in our newsroom.”

In other words, the Post is about to replace a bunch of overpaid assholes with bots.

Hey, why not…?

Does anyone doubt bots can do this…

• Russia Collusion Hoax
• Hands Up, Don’t Shoot Hoax
• Jussie Smollett Hoax
• Covington KKKids Hoax
• Very Fine People Hoax
• Seven-Hour Gap Hoax
• Russian Bounties Hoax
• Trump Trashes Troops Hoax
• Policemen Killed at Mostly Peaceful January 6 Protest Hoax
• Rittenhouse Hoax
• Eating While Black Hoax
• Border Agents Whipping Illegals Hoax
• NASCAR Noose Hoax
• The Georgia Jim Crow 2.0 Hoax
• Trump Assaulted Secret Service Agents and Grabbed Steering Wheel of Beast Hoax
• MAGA Assaulted Paul Pelosi Hoax
• COVID Lab Leak Theory Is Racist Hoax
• Hunter Biden’s Laptop Is Russian Disinformation Hoax
• Joe Biden Will Never Ban Gas Stoves Hoax
• COVID Deaths are Over-Counted Is a Conspiracy Theory Hoax
• Mass Graves of Native Children in Canada Hoax
• The Trump Killed All the Fish Hoax
• Trump Told People to Drink Bleach Hoax
• Hamas Hospital Hoax
• If Reelected, Trump Will Execute People Hoax
• The 900,000 Kids Hospitalized with Coronavirus Hoax
• Environmental Hoaxes
• The Alfa Bank Hoax
• Libs of TikTok Murdered Non-Binary Teen Hoax
• The Aaron Rodgers Sandy Hook-Truther Hoax
• The ‘Bloodbath’ Hoax

…every bit as well as a bunch of pampered, entitled, inexperienced, left-wing crybullies?

More people who hate us are about to lose their jobs, to which I would like to offer the following in the spirit of grace and forgiveness:

What a fail. The Washington Post is such a failure it not only lost $77 million in a country where tens of millions of people voted for Hillary Clinton, but it is such a wretched failure it would rather sell its soul to AI than move toward a business model that might attract enough subscribers to stay alive.

Why doesn’t the Washington Post try honesty and integrity? Why not become a principled and unbiased trumpet of hard-hitting journalism? Why doesn’t the Washington Post stop being a pro-Biden super PAC and actually dig into important stories without political favor or bias?

The Post might have a chance if it chose to become a newspaper again. Instead, it’s choosing to turn itself over to The Machines.

Hey, I love it. Truth be told, I get a whole lot more pleasure watching the Washington Post, CNN, and Disney die than I would if they stopped sucking. These outlets have thrown so much hate at me and mine for so long that the slower they die, the happier I am.

Learn to code, you miserable, lying, hateful bitches.

Hey, I’m just hating them back. They started it.

John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.