Sarah Silverman Wants Laws that ‘Legislate’ Male Masturbation

LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 09: Actress/comedian Sarah Silverman performs at the Teragram Ballroom for The Post Pop Depression Tour on March 9, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

While hosting the Vulture + New York magazine’s 3rd annual Vulture Festival, comedian Sarah Silverman suggested her solution to the abortion debate in America.

Sarah Silverman took the stage Sunday night at the Brooklyn Academy of Music and threw her support behind legislation that would regulate male sperm.

“Here”s something that I learned that is fascinating, and it’s this: Scientists have found that sperms cells smell,” Silverman said during her set, according to the Huffington Post. “Like I know sperm smells, but sperm cells have the sense of smell, and you know what that means: Sperm is life.”

“And you know what that means,” she quipped. “We’ve gotta legislate that sh*t.”

To Silverman, male sperm and a fetus growing inside a women’s womb are analogous.

The rationale behind her plan to regulate men’s sperm flows from the fact that multiple states already require women to undergo an ultrasound examination, showing them their baby, in utero, before they make the decision to abort the pregnancy.

So, Silverman says, if the law mandates that women submit to an ultrasound before aborting a life, then men should be subject to a similar procedure whenever they ejaculate.

“What we’ll do is, it’s a real simple procedure,” she joked. “We take a really long needle-like basically GoPro camera and we put it down your penis hole, urethra … then down into your testicular sack.”

“We’re going to show you the ultrasound, so you can see the life in your balls,” she said.

As one of Hollywood’s most vulgar liberal comics, Silverman took a brief break from bashing Christians and made headlines when she announced her support for Bernie Sanders over Hillary Clinton.

Silverman was 1 of 128 celebrities to sign an open letter endorsing the socialist senator from Vermont’s bid for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Follow Jerome Hudson on Twitter @jeromeehudson.


Please let us know if you're having issues with commenting.