Eleven years since the original decapitate-then-urinate-on-the-bad-guy-before-setting-him-on-fire gorefest Postal 2 was released comes Paradise Lost, a new expansion pack that effectively doubles the size of the original game, providing five whole new missions.
Despite being more than a decade old, the Postal franchise continues to annoy the right people. Postal 1 was recently blocked in the Google Play store for “gratuitous violence”, despite Google also selling comparable titles such as Grand Theft Auto III.
Forget all that hand-wringing. Like its partner in headline-weaving crime, Postal 2 is a joy, all the more wonderful for its raucous, rough-around-the-edges comedy horror and the freedom it gives players to act as nicely – or as naughtily – as they please.
As I wrote in November, I’ve written scathingly in the past about so-called ultraviolent video games, but that’s before I discovered Postal 2 and began to appreciate the nihilistic abandon of chasing a fat bird down the street, tasing her from behind and then lopping off her head with a shovel. Mea maxima culpa.
Paradise lost is an expansion pack for Postal 2 which continues the story of the original game. The protagonist, known as the Dude, returns to his hometown, which has been ravaged by nuclear fallout. The five new missions take place across deserts, under ashen skies, in rainy foliage and full-on nuclear winter.
The single-player campaign lasts from Monday until Friday, comprising five clutches of errands during which you are free to cause havoc in the Postal universe while searching for the Dude’s lost dog.
New arsenal items and dual-wielding provide more than enough new thrills and there are new boss battles, full controller support and the original voice of the Dude. (Running With Scissors, which makes Postal, are keen to stress that this is the original Dude. Because there’s a non-canonical game called Postal 3 which I am obliged to tell you never, ever to purchase. It’s crap and the creators don’t get any money for it, so leave it alone.)
Beta testers in the game’s official forums say Paradise Lost is even better than the original, and on first inspection I have to agree. I am as yet still languishing on the Monday mission, having foolishly selected a difficulty level in excess of my skills.
But I am taking my time on purpose: there are a host of in-jokes and sarcastic references to be found–especially if you’ve been following a certain press ethics scandal recently.
Oh, and by the way. There’s a little something tucked away in Paradise Lost that regular readers of this column may enjoy. Do keep an eye out in the gay bar on Thursday…
Disclosure: Running With Scissors provided Breitbart with an advance copy of Paradise Lost for review purposes. The company has also previously gifted Milo Yiannopoulos a DVD, a piece of bullet-ridden metal signage, a t-shirt bearing the legend “I REGRET NOTHING” and a “Krotchy Doll,” a small, embroidered pair of comedy testicles which speak when squeezed.