Late-night TV hosts were left disappointed and dejected by FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report clearing Donald Trump’s presidential campaign of charges of collusion with Russia during the 2016 election.
On Sunday evening, Attorney General William Barr said that the Special Counsel “did not find that any US person or Trump campaign official conspired or knowingly coordinated with Russia.”
The report caused an uproar among the Hollywood left, who had long questioned Trump’s legitimacy on the myth that Trump had worked with the Kremlin to win the 2016 presidential election.
Late Show host Stephen Colbert consoled himself with the news by pointing out that Donald Trump is still a “terrible president.”
“I say troubling news because if Trump is not working with the Russians then what the hell is wrong with him?” Colbert said about the report. “If they don’t have anything on him, why does he keep saying nice things about Vladimir Putin?”
“I’ve said one or two things about Donald Trump, like how he’s a terrible president,” he continued. “So … I’m just going to bite the bullet and say it: Mr. President if you’re watching, and I know you are, I’m sorry that you’re a terrible president.”
Over on the Daily Show, Trevor Noah described Mueller’s lack of findings as a “little disappointing,” but used the opportunity to mock billionaire Trump’s supposed lack of financial success.
“Are you shitting me right now?!” Noah complained. “Robert Mueller spends two years investigating obstruction of justice and his conclusion is, ‘I don’t know, what do you guys think?’ That’s not an answer, Robert Mueller! That’s the question we gave you!”
“Mueller spent $25 million dollars on this, but because of him, [Paul] Manafort had to pay the United States over $40 million dollars, which I guess is another reason why the Mueller investigation was such a big win for Trump: It’s the first time he’s been involved in something that actually turned a profit.”
Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel said he had not been “this confused about an ending since the series finale of Lost.”
“It’s kind of funny, though: Half of America is upset that our president didn’t collude with Russia,” Kimmel said. “Seems like we should probably be happy about that, shouldn’t we? And deep down, didn’t we know Trump probably didn’t collude with Russia, because he could never pull that off, and even if he did collude, it probably would have been by accident?
“Putin wanted him in there and did what he had to do. Basically, Trump got in the White House the same way Lori Loughlin got her kid into USC.”