Palin Rocks CPAC, Re-Writes Dr. Seuss to Mock Obama, Media

Palin Rocks CPAC, Re-Writes Dr. Seuss to Mock Obama, Media

Sarah Palin’s new TV program Amazing America doesn’t start until next month, but Saturday in Maryland the former Alaska governor already put on quite a show. Speaking at CPAC for the third straight year, Palin did not disappoint as the keynote attraction.

Palin delivered an entertaining, hard-hitting speech to a packed house. Her remarks were met with applause, cheering, and laughter. Palin was, as usual on top of her game.

Dressed in black, Palin came out to the song She’s Country by Jason Aldean. She thanked our veterans and then she dug in.

“I love coming back here because there are so many young people,” Palin said. Young people also known as “ObamaCare suckers” if you ask those across the river. Palin implored the youth in attendance to not fall for the tricks from Washington and instead use their energy for real change.

“Hope and change went from a catchy campaign slogan to a reality,” Palin said. She harkened back to the wisdom of Reagan, Friedman, and Thatcher. Despite what we hear from Obama and company there is “no free lunch.” Palin commended Americans for not complying with Obama’s far left policies. She said it’s “like y’all went rogue.”

She then credited Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) for his hard work and called on voters to get all of Congress on “Cruz control.” Palin even channeled her inner Cruz by breaking out a copy of Green Eggs and Ham, but she rewrote the Dr. Seuss classic. 


I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like his healthcare scam.  
I do not like these dirty crooks or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals. I do not like their crony deals.
I do not like this spying, man. I do not like, ‘oh yes we can.’
I do not like this spending spree. We’re smart, we know there’s nothing free.
I do not like reporters’ smug replies when I complain about their lies.
I do not like this kind of hope and we wont take it… nope, nope, nope.


Palin’s version brought down the house.

During her wildly well received comments, Palin lauded those who are doing their job in Congress and blasted those who aren’t. She slammed the GOP establishment.

“We’re going to stop them,” Palin said of misguided Republican incumbents.

When the crowd chanted “Run Sarah Run!,” she joked that she should have gone for a jog before the speech.

John Kerry was not off limits. Of the Secretary of State, Palin asked “why the long face?”

She clobbered Obama’s poor leadership in dealing with Vladimir Putin. “Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.”

On Ukraine, Palin delivered perhaps her best line of the night.

“I’m probably being too hard on the president. After all, who could’ve seen this coming?,” she asked. In 2008 Palin predicted Putin’s Russia may invade Ukraine if Obama were elected. An optimistic future was painted by Palin. “When we meet next, Lord willing, Harry Reid will be the Senate minority leader or a blackjack dealer in Vegas,” she quipped.

Duck Dynasty even made the speech. Palin defended Phil Roberston and his recent comments on his Christian views. She credited Americans for getting Robertson back on the air after he was briefly canned from the popular reality series. “We pushed back and we won,” Palin said. “Now everyone is happy, happy, happy.”

Palin then blasted the Democrats’ hypocrisy regarding their “war on women” campaigns. 

“Hey Democrats, it’s your leaders who are demeaning to women,” said Palin. She called on the women on hand to stand up as sisters and fight against that treatment. “Donkeys just bray, only mama grizzlies can say ‘hear me roar!'” she said. 

Always a champion for life, Palin again expressed her love for the unborn. “We’re the party with the plank that protects even our littlest sisters in the womb,” she said. 

The grand finale of Palin’s speech gave hope to all. “The age of Obama is almost over,” Palin said. “The end of an error. He is the lamest of lame ducks.”

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) won the CPAC straw poll on Saturday, but it was Palin who won the hearts of attendees once again. She did it with common sense, humor, passion, and love of country.

Follow Kevin Scholla on Twitter @KevinScholla