Now, they browse nonfiction.
Democrats in Congress have plundered the library of racy novels, dreamy fairy tales and bizarre science fiction paperbacks. They have even stoked their own psychotropic fever dreams.
They have scrawled in the margins and defaced every book on the shelves, turning each one into a “choose your own adventure” mystery drama.
While Democrats in Congress were entirely consumed with impeaching Mr. Trump, it now appears, the president was conspiring with the leaders of Wuhan, China, and the wild-bat delicacy industry to hatch a virus so deadly and uncontrollably transmissible that it would spark a global pandemic and shut down the world’s economy.
All in an effort to — I don’t know — help Russia? Maybe. Or, because, he is racist. Whatever.
Yes, this would be the same Adam Schiff who for more than three years now has lied to gullible reporters about his spectacular fantasies of Mr. Trump in a Moscow hotel room with hookers.
This is the same ridiculous nutjob who for years now has been lying to American voters about how he has secret evidence that he cannot share proving that Mr. Trump “colluded” with Russian President Vladimir Putin to “steal” the 2016 election.
Secret “evidence,” it turned out, that all came from the Kremlin.
This is the same desperate, dishonest charlatan who — after his Russian fantasy went up in smoke — turned his imagination to Ukraine and began spinning new fantasies about Mr. Trump conspiring with the president of Ukraine to make Joe Biden look bad — as if Joe Biden needs any help looking bad.
And, yes, this is the same Adam Schiff who colluded with phone callers he believed to be actual Ukrainians in order to obtain naked pictures of Mr. Trump. (Sickos like this you really cannot make up.)
Now Mr. Schiff and his fellow Democrats have seized on something that at least did actually happen. The Wuhan coronavirus pandemic.
This virus is as deadly real as these people are ridiculously unserious.
Mr. Schiff and his band of twittering impeachment fairies have decided to turn the awesome powers of the legislative branch of the federal government into yet another weapon against Mr. Trump. This time, they want to use all their constitutional powers to accuse the president of somehow playing dumb to allow the coronavirus to spread as far and wide as possible so as to infect and kill as many Americans as possible.
Again, to what end? To help Russia? To prop up his only personal financial interests in the wild-bat trade?
Anyway, this latest fever dream is downright comical, given the fact that it was Mr. Schiff and his twittering impeachment fairies who were fully engaged with impeaching Mr. Trump while the pandemic was brewing and first jumped from China to America.
Mr. Trump can point to actual decisions he made at that time to combat the pandemic while Mr. Schiff and his dollhouse friends can point to nothing other than their failed impeachment charade in Congress — as the pandemic marched across the globe.
That’s not to say that Mr. Schiff’s latest delusions are not terrifying. They are. Because we now know the dark depths of depravity Mr. Schiff and the anti-Trump crusaders in Washington will resort to in pursuit of Mr. Trump. They will stop at nothing and there is no apparatus of the federal government they won’t try to use in their zealous pursuit.
The only hope for Mr. Trump — and the American people — is that Mr. Schiff and his crusaders have completely destroyed their own credibility. At this point, even the most rabid anti-Trump voter doesn’t believe these people anymore.
They may never vote for Mr. Trump’s reelection, but nor will they ever believe another fantastical lie spun by Mr. Schiff and his impeachment fairies.
• Charles Hurt can be reached at email@example.com or @charleshurt on Twitter.