Jason Collins’s ex-fiancee said the the NBA player who came out of the closet more than two months ago was more concerned about his image and new friends in the media than fully explaining to her why he led her on for over seven years. She also implied he is hardly a “hero” despite the mainstream media’s attempts to lionize him as one.
In an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine, Carolyn Moos said, “The day Jason canceled the wedding was surreal. There were no tangible reasons, no explanations.” She added that when Collins finally told her he was gay on the day the Sports Illustrated article was published, Collins did not even mention the article to Moos. Collins is the first openly gay professional player in a major American team sport to come out and be acknowledged by the media.
“I am sad that the media seems to be a higher priority,” she said. “I hope this changes in the coming weeks, as I value open dialogue more than anything.”
She said “Jason told me he’s gay over the phone on a Monday morning in April, the same day the magazine hit newsstands. However, he didn’t mention the article–that came as a surprise when I heard about it from a friend”:
The phone call this April ended the mystery. He left a message on a Sunday, saying, “I have something important to talk about–please call me back.” I was working and called the next morning. He uttered an eerily familiar phrase: “You may want to sit down.” Then he said, “Carolyn, I’m gay.” I was stunned. I managed to say, after a silent moment and then a deep breath, “I had no idea. I’m sure a huge weight is off your shoulders.” During all the years I had known him, I never would have guessed that he would come out as gay.
She said they “talked again briefly that night. He answered a few questions, but there was much left to discuss and he said he had to go. As I tell this story, it has been several weeks since he told me his news and he has made no further time to talk, despite saying he would do so.”
She wrote that when Collins canceled the wedding a year after calling off the engagement, it threw her “into a tailspin. Up to that point, everything I’d ever wanted, I had achieved through hard work and sheer determination. When I couldn’t get answers from Jason on what had gone wrong, I questioned myself and what I could have done better or differently.”
“In his essay, Jason wrote that he’d once been engaged to a woman. Reporters zoomed in on me, thrusting my name into the news,” Moss recalled. “My in-box exploded with e-mails from women saying the same thing had happened to them. I’m sharing what I’ve learned from my experience in hopes that it might help others.”
Moos took issue with Collins being hailed as a hero by those in the mainstream media.
“I remain deeply hurt by him. I wish he could have been honest with me years ago,” she said. “I feel like there are two Jasons now–the man I fell in love with and the man I’m trying so hard to understand. He’s being hailed as a pioneer, but I believe true heroism is a result of being honest with yourself and with those you love.”
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