Gut Check: Why I Hate Stories
Last Sunday, the New York Post ran a piece on a book on the real story behind the Kitty Genovese killing–the story of a young woman who was brutally raped and murdered in March 1964 while her neighbors did nothing,
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The Boyd Crowder Translator
WHAT HE SAYS: I fear that within my belly stirs the emanations of desire for a product that sates the ache within WHAT HE MEANS: I’m hungry WHAT HE SAYS: Well, my darling, being a lowly omnivore like yourself, I
Gut Check: Speculating on Spectacles
As we mark the ten year anniversary of “nipplegate”–yep, it’s been that long since Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson’s breastplate during the abysmal halftime show during Super Bowl 38–it pays to ask: was the outrage worth it? The outrage
Downton Abbey Is a Real Man's Super Bowl
Everyone has their own Super Bowl, and mine is the conclusion of Downton Abbey, season 4. I watched all the episodes this week, finishing today. Some thoughts: Edith Grantham is the Jan Brady of Downton Abbey. Less attractive and constantly
A Note on Attention Bias
Here’s a disturbing trend that I have decided to label “attention bias.” This is defined by the desire for your opinion to be observed, and how that desire affects the intensity of your opinion. So, if you happen to like
Gut Check: When Old Friends Return
Maybe, when you were younger and dumber, you had some questionable friends. They dabbled in illegality. They weren’t dependable. They often needed you to bail them out of trouble. They stole stuff…sometimes your stuff. They never paid for gas, and
Review: The Act of Killing
I hate movie trailers, because whenever I judge a movie based on one, I’m always wrong. The trailer for Greenberg was atrocious – and it was the best movie from 2010. The same thing happens again, with “The Act of
Greg's Chart on How to Write a Successful Feature Article for Slate.com
It’s really very simple. Connect something from column A to something from column B. The possibilities are endless! Column A Column B THE CHARACTERS IN HOMELAND EXACERBATES FEELINGS
Gut Check: Greg's Favorite Songs and Records from 2013
I didn’t get around to listening to nearly as much crud as I normally do, because all I do these days is work. I do two shows a day and write books at night. I have no leisure time. Nothing.
Gut Check: Lessons in Lockstep
Last week, Nelson Mandela died. There were more than enough touching eulogies, and any attempt by me would be shoddy, with the depth of a contact lens. Better to sit back, shut up, and think about a lesson to learn
Bring Me Home for the Holidays
If you have no idea what to buy your wife for Christmas, let me help. A Not Cool Koozie. Yes, a Koozie is EXACTLY what your wife wants for Christmas. Forget the rings, the necklaces, the new IPAD. The Humvee.
Gut Check: The Pro-Choice Revolution
Last Sunday, I chose to do nothing. Meaning, I pretended to do something by buying and then consuming bits and chunks of stuff I ordered from my laptop as I sat in my underwear, drinking strong coffee. It’s what I do
Gut Check: The Tarantino of Nice
This weekend, riddled with sickness, I caught up on the latest series — available on Netflix — written and directed by Ricky Gervais. It’s called Derek, and it’s about a “simple-minded” guy named Derek who works at a retirement home.
Tips from a Runny Nose
I am currently in bed with sniffles, a nasty cough, congestion, sneezing, watery eyes. Does anyone have any suggestions for things to do with kleenex after you’ve used them? Seems like a waste just to throw them away. I was
The Frightened Correspondent
In case you missed Saturday’s Redeye (and many did, since it wasn’t on the DVR schedule for some ungodly reason), here’s what I think might be the funniest appearance of our Frightened Correspondent – ever. If you don’t pee yourself
Smoking Dopes
Miley Cyrus smoking dope on stage? Who cares? The best argument against legalizing dope are the celebrity dopes who smoke it. They think they’re doing something naughty or outrageous. And they make a big deal of it whenever possible. But
Gut Check: Greg Answers Questions While Drinking Lots of Wine
Breitbart News: What do conservatives have to do to resonate with young people? GG: They have to explain, succinctly, why their stuff works. And you have to do it with humor, minus jargon, minus anger. Freedom is fun. It’s not
Why I Love the Fuzz
I can pretty much rattle off perfect albums in my head. These are those special records that after listening, maybe ten or twelve thousand times, you realize there is no way they could have been improved. Meaning, every song means
Gut Check: Thank You, Rudy Giuliani
There were no murders last week in New York City. That, by definition, is amazing. That’s like saying, for one week, there were no pies in Kirstie Alley’s fridge. Or no contagious bacteria in Hef’s grotto. Or no drugs in Andy Dick’s
I Should Have Paid More Attention to Peanuts
I was drinking with a buddy of mine – we’re about the same age (closing in on 50) and we started talking about the first thing we ever read. It was the Sunday comics. But mainly, it was Peanuts. Peanuts,
A Post About Crap
So a Montana man got a five hundred dollar check from the US Treasury after sending them five one-hundred dollar bills that had been eaten by his mutt. He waited for the dog to poop them out, and reassembled the
Gut Check: The Right Way to Rebel
So, let’s say you realized, that, try as you might, you’re not like the rest of them. You’re different. You don’t instantly agree with them. Their assumptions are no longer yours. Maybe, secretly, they never were. But now, you find yourself the
Pushers
I have a relative in town, from Russia. She took the subway from the airport to our apartment. A deranged man got on, doing what deranged men do. She said to my wife, “what is he doing in here?” Exactly.
Why Do We Like Gross Things?
Why do we like gross things? I am not ashamed to say that I like gross things. I don’t like doing gross things. But I like looking at or reading about them. Medical oddities, and stuff like that. And while
The March that Didn't March
I was thinking about the disaster that was the Million Muslim March, and how it might have actually proved its point. Accidentally – of course.It changed its name to the “Million American March Against Fear,” and the only people who showed
