SNL’s Trump to San Juan Mayor: ‘You Should’ve Paid Your Bills’

The cold open of the “Saturday Night Live” season 43 opener hit President Donald Trump and his administration over topics like Puerto Rico and the NFL.

Alec Baldwin in his role as the president took a call from San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz, played by Melissa Villasenor, who asked for help following Hurricane Maria.

“Trump” turned down helping Puerto Rico because it had not paid its bills, adding that he has to worry about America first.

Partial transcript as follows:

VILLASENOR: Yes, Mr. President, I’m so glad to have you on the phone. I’m begging you, Puerto Rico needs your help.

BALDWIN: I hear you loud and clear. And you called the best person for the job. Trust me, I know things are, as the locals say, “despacito.” We’re going to get more help to you. We’ll get to you immediately. Probably by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest.

VILLASENOR: Mr. President, that’s not good enough.

BALDWIN: Well, you should have paid your bills. FEMA takes a few days, unless you join FEMA prime.

VILLASENOR: What are you talking about?

BALDWIN: Ma’am, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re on an island in the water, the ocean water, big ocean with fishies and bubbles and turtles that bite. We want to help you, but we have to take care of America first.

VILLASENOR: Wait, you do know we are a U.S. territory, don’t you?

BALDWIN: I do, but not many people know that.

Baldwin then hung up the phone and called the mayor “a nasty woman.”

Follow Trent Baker on Twitter @MagnifiTrent


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