Bella Thorne Reveals She Was Molested Her ‘Whole Life’

MIAMI, FLORIDA - APRIL 07: Bella Thorne is on the set of Univisions "despierta America" in support of the film "Ratchet & Clank" at Univision Headquarters on April 7, 2016 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images)
Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images

A candid poem from Bella Thorne, which is included in her recent book “The Life of a Wannabe Mogul,” claims the former Disney star was molested throughout her childhood.

In an Instagram post featuring several topless photos of her, 21-year-old Thorne claims she is “figuring” out how to deal with the demons from her past and questions how she has planned to achieve her “end goal.”

“What is wrong with me. Why do I need Validation from everyone but mostly men,” Thorne asks as she opens the work.

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What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men… Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so fucking scary to me. all I want is him. I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it's ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I'm accepted. Why? Because I can't accept myself. For some reason in my head I'm just not fucking good enough. Not good enough for him or Her or anyone else. And if it's not him I just look for the "next" him, or her Why can't I just look for the next me? Find me and accept me. Was it because I was molested my whole life. Exposed to sex at such a young age it's all I know how to offer to the world…or is it because I was raised to think I wasn't good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else. But it doesn't matter what happened to me.. What matters is whats happening to me right now. I can't blame my childhood, in fact I can't blame anyone for anything. All I can do is blame me. I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I'm attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me. Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself. But at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to get to your end goal is to work through it. Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don't have to hurt as much. You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That's what our emotional world lays on. Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting. Right now I only hurt…but I'm not hurting for other people no I'm only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me. Usually these free handed writing bits..they have an end, but I don't have an end. I'm still figuring it out as always. So is that ok? Is it ok to know what your end goal Is but absolutely no way or idea how to achieve it. It's probably not but I can only start by accepting it. This poem is about mommy and daddy and me and you ❤️ #thelifeofawannabemogul

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Thorne continued by saying that her friends tell her to be single and “make your self happy,” but the actress claims that sounds “fucking scary” and insists “all I want is him.”

“I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it’s ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I’m accepted,” the pansexual “Blended” star wrote. “Why? Because I can’t accept myself.”

“And if it’s not him I just look for the ‘next’ him, or her Why can’t I just look for the next me,” Thorne continued. “Find me and accept me. Was it because I was molested my whole life. Exposed to sex at such a young age it’s all I know how to offer to the world…or is it because I was raised to think I wasn’t good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else.”

“I can’t blame my childhood, in fact I can’t blame anyone for anything,” Thorne added. “All I can do is blame me.”

Thorne then launched into what she considered to be “blame” on herself.

“I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I’m attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me,” she wrote. “Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself. But at the end of the day that will never happen.”

As she concluded, Thorne focused on her “end goal” and discussed the path to get there.

“The only way to get to your end goal is to work through it,” Thorne stated. “Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don’t have to hurt as much. You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That’s what our emotional world lays on. Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting.”

Thorne then admitted she does not understand how to achieve her “end goal.”

“Right now I only hurt…but I’m not hurting for other people no I’m only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me,” Thorne said. “Usually these free handed writing bits..they have an end, but I don’t have an end. I’m still figuring it out as always.”

“So is that ok? Is it ok to know what your end goal Is but absolutely no way or idea how to achieve it,” She added. “It’s probably not but I can only start by accepting it. This poem is about mommy and daddy and me and you #thelifeofawannabemogul.”

Follow Kyle on Twitter @RealKyleMorris and Facebook.

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