Death to The Ducks (Muscovy)
I don't think I buy the story that this guy "accidentally" ran over half a dozen ducks. But too his defense, if they were those nasty-looking Muscovy ducks, then I may give him a pass. Kidding.
We all love animals, no matter how ugly they are, or how many times they poop on the walkway leading up to you front door, and you happen to step in the crap they leave.
Especially when you walk barefooted out the door at night to take out the garbage, and all of a sudden feel a very uncomfortable and disgusting sensation being squeezed between your toes. Especially then.
Please note that I am not admitted or implying that this has ever happened to me. But read between the toes.