Shot for Teacher
Heartwarming education news from the brokest state in the world's brokest nation: in what promises to be the biggest high school production since the Glee season finale, today Cary-Grove HS in suburban Chicago will conduct a mass murder drill, featuring simulated gunfire from a starter pistol.
Because, hey, nothing will help our teens to catch up to the math scores of Korean 2nd graders like hysterical theatrics staged by "concerned education professionals." Plus, it's good training for the day when the teachers' Illinois state pension checks begin to bounce.
Your SAT analogy test: the Illinois Education Association is to gun control what the John Birch Society is to fluoride control.
Remember kids - Duck and Cover!